Welcome to Part 3 of the “The 4 Puberty Conversations you should be having with your tween daughter, but probably aren’t” mini-series. If you missed the first two posts, you can catch up here. And remember, if you’re not sure how to start these conversations, Real Girl Puberty has you covered. It just so happens that we have a magazine issue dedicated to each of the 4 topics.
We’ve talked about confidence and independence and why it’s important to proactively support your tween girl as she builds and maintains these skills. This week, we’re going to talk about a topic that’s not often considered when talking about puberty – sports.
How are Sports Related to Puberty?
What in the world do sports have to do with puberty? Stay with me here, I promise they’re related. Remember way back in the first episode when we talked about the drastic drop in girls’ confidence? Participation in sports also significantly drops during the puberty years. Most research points to a lack of access to sports, peer pressure, or the lack of funding to continue playing sports, but I have another hunch. A hunch based on personal experience.
Why Do Girls Drop Out of Sports?
Like I just said, research shows that tween and teen girls drop out of sports because their access gets cut off – either due to a lack of opportunities or because of financial reasons. Or because of peer pressure. If a girl’s friends are no longer playing, then she won’t continue either. Makes sense. But what they’re not talking about is the role puberty plays in a girl’s decision to stop playing sports.
How Puberty Impacts Participation in Sports
This series is turning into a memoir of sorts, but I can’t help it because I have a lot of experience in the puberty area. I happen to be a former female athlete. Baseball and softball were my life before puberty hit. I genuinely thought I could grow up to be the first female major league baseball player. Not that I was good at the sport, but I loved the game!
There are multiple reasons why puberty killed my sports career and why it might impact your daughter’s as well. Let’s take a look at them here:
- Growing breasts – developing breasts are a pretty obvious sign that puberty is starting and it can gain girls some unwanted attention. That attention can be real or just a fear in her head. Either way, the changing body is front of mind when playing sports. For me, this showed up whenever I was at bat. The wind would blow my jersey against my developing bust and I felt so exposed. I couldn’t handle the stress of it so I stopped raising the bat as a way to stop the feeling. It didn’t work and it killed my batting average.
- Periods – ever tried sliding into 3rd while on your period? Or running track, doing round-offs, the splits, or anything really physical? Of course girls shouldn’t be dropping out of sports because of their periods, but what if we talked about it? What if there were conversations happening so girls could feel more empowered by what their body can do as it develops instead of shrinking because of it?
- Body changes – puberty is an awkward time! Along with breasts and periods, there’s also growth spurts, skin changes, and sweating in unmentionable places. That’s a lot to have on your mind while trying to keep your head in the game.
What’s the Solution?
You can probably say it with me by now, but the solution to keep our girls in sports is talking about it! And being proactive. Help your daughter embrace the changes that puberty brings on. She doesn’t need to become BFFs with her period or be super excited to wear a bra, but she should be able to accept the changes and work with them. Some ways to work with the changes are mindset related, while others are manageable through finding the right product/resource. I suffered with sweaty armpits for a good 10 years before I knew it only took a quick visit to the doctor to get prescription deodorant.
Find a Coach
If you think your daughter might be struggling with managing her changing body, get help. There are some great youth coaches out there that specialize in helping your daughter embrace her body and all of the life changes that puberty brings on. I know a few of them, so please reach out to me if you need a recommendation.
You can also build your own support team. Make sure to keep an eye on our Instagram page for details on how to join the upcoming Puberty Party for Moms community. The Puberty Party for Moms is a community where you can connect, learn, and grow together with other moms while supporting your daughter through the challenges of puberty and beyond.
For more support and ideas on how to keep your daughter in the game, check out the Sports Issue of Real Girl Puberty magazine. And make sure to come back next week when we’ll be discussing the fourth and final puberty conversation that you should be having with your tween girl, but probably aren’t.
Resources –
Real Girl Puberty Magazine – The Sports Issue
Lean In – https://leanin.org/together/women#! – NBA and Lean In partnership to help keep girls in sports