I want to start a conversation that I’m honestly terrified to bring up, but it’s been on my mind for a long time. And it starts with a question.
Is it just me, or do girls seem to not feel safe being girls?
I might be projecting or alone in this thinking, but I truly believe that there’s a lot of fear felt by adolescent girls as they transition into womanhood. It’s something I personally experienced during my puberty years. I couldn’t have told you at the time because I didn’t know the source of my anxiety and depression, but I was so terrified of becoming a woman that I disassociated from myself. My disassociation was severe and long-lasting. And it wasn’t even diagnosed until last year.
Independent or connected trends?
The current surge in tween and young teen biological girls self-identifying as male makes me feel like there’s something deeper underneath this. Before so many girls wanted to be boys, girls were cutting themselves. Before cutting, anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders happened in high numbers. And I can’t help feeling this is all connected. Again, maybe it’s just me and these are all totally independent occurrences with no trace of connection, but I can’t shake the feeling.
The fear, anxiety, and disassociation that I experienced during puberty is something I’ve just recently been able to talk about. It’s a complex topic and one that’s hard to discuss without putting blame somewhere. Because of the sensitivity of the transgender topic and the protective culture around our kids, I’m afraid that this conversation won’t really be able to happen. But helping girls feel safe is a part of the Real Girl Puberty mission.
More questions
And now I’ll end this conversation starter with more questions. What about being a young woman is so scary? Why is it scary? How can we help girls feel safe being girls? How can we empower them to be comfortable in their own skin? Especially during a time when their skin feels strange, uncomfortable, and maybe even foreign?