The Raise Your Voice issue of Real Girl Puberty magazine has been out for a month now. And what an eye-opening month it has been! I did my first round of the 30 Day Raise Your Voice Challenge and I was surprised to see my results.
What is the Raise Your Voice Challenge?
If you’ve already read the Raise Your Voice issue, then you saw the 30-day challenge on page 14. (If you haven’t read it yet, this is your cue. Click here to get your free access.) The challenge is simple, just track the times you consciously use your voice and when you choose to stay quiet. There’s no right or wrong, could’ve or should’ve judgment here. It’s simply about bringing awareness to your speaking-up habits. Once you see how you habitually use your voice, you can choose to make adjustments. Do you maybe speak up too much without thinking first, or do you always stay quiet when you know you have something valuable to say?
How Did I Raise My Voice?
The 30-day challenge encouraged me to speak up when I would usually stay quiet. And that wasn’t always with my physical voice, it happened with texts, emails, and social media too. For example, I asked for emotional support when I was having a down moment, I reached out to a friend when I heard some heartbreaking news, and I let a woman know that I thought her work was amazing. These feel like such little things when I read them, but before the challenge, I wouldn’t have said anything.
When Did I Choose Not to Speak?
I kept quiet a lot less than before the challenge, but I still had my moments. The one time that stands out was when I wanted to give a compliment, but I chickened out. A woman was wearing some super cute plaid pants and I wanted to tell her how much I loved them. I choose to stay quiet for a few reasons, 1. She was a complete stranger on the bus, 2. My Turkish isn’t so great, so she might not have understood me, and 3. Because I just feel like there was a “right” moment to talk to her.
Not giving a compliment to the plaid-panted woman doesn’t change anything in my life. I didn’t lose anything and I have no regrets. But I am more aware of the feeling of keeping quiet and feel inspired to take the feeling as a challenge instead of feeling bad about it.
The Hardest Thing About Speaking Up
The hardest thing about speaking up has been getting out of my own way. It can be difficult to quiet the voice inside that tells me that it’s not safe to speak. I wonder where that comes from?? Actually, I know my “not safe” voice was born during my puberty years. The ‘Loss of Voice’ phenomenon has been a hard thing to outgrow, but I’m getting there. I’m curious to see how my speaking habits will be when I’m back in the US. It’s easy to use not knowing enough Turkish as an excuse to be quiet. But the truth is, without a little self-pressure, I probably wouldn’t speak up even if I was fluent in Turkish.
What Does This All Mean Going Foward?
The 30-day challenge really shone a light on my speaking habits and I hope to use the results as motivation to do better. Speaking up can be a risk, but it can be a safe risk worth taking. I might say the wrong thing, or not clearly communicate my ideas, but I’m not going to let that stop me anymore. I vow to carry on the speaking up behavior and make it a habit.
Extra Motivation
On a related note, the Mel Robbins 5-4-3-2-1 habit can be the push you need when you want to speak up. Not familiar with Ms. Mel? She’s an awesome motivational speaker and often speaks openly about her struggles with fear and anxiety. I highly recommend her book, The 5 Second Rule. You can learn more about it here: How Mel Robbins created The High 5 Habit | Chapter 2 from The High 5 Habit (Part 1)
Take the Raise Your Voice 30 Day Challenge today and let me know what you learn about yourself.