This month inside the Puberty Party for Moms, we’re reading The Confidence Code for Girls. While this book may have been written for adolescent girls, I still found so many a-ha moments that I can apply to my grown-up life. And it’s a perfect fit for the ‘Raise Your Voice’ theme of the new issue of Real Girl Puberty magazine.
What action would you take if you felt more confident?
My answer today is a lot different than it would’ve been when I was a puberty girl. The “loss of voice” phenomenon hit me hard in middle school and it continued throughout high school. And my confidence was pretty much non-existent. If I had been more confident I would’ve been able to connect with my peers and not have lived such an isolated life.
I was a smart kid growing up, but my lack of confidence caused me to get poor grades and I even failed my favorite class. Before puberty, I was obsessed with baseball and loved playing softball and basketball. If I would’ve had more confidence, I probably wouldn’t have quit playing.
Getting good grades and playing sports isn’t about looking good on paper, they’re things that help you feel good about your abilities and like you have a promising future. I didn’t feel like I had either of these…
The “today” version of me has a lot more confidence and I’ve done some amazingly exciting things in my life because of it. I could still use a confidence upgrade though and there are some things I’d like to improve on.
My Risk List
Maybe it’s the Gemini in me, but I LOVE making a good list! Chapter Two of The Confidence Code for Girls asks you to make a list of five risks that you want to take. They don’t need to be big and scary, just a few things you’ve been wanting to do but they feel a little too risky or hard. Here’s my list:
- Go running at the park
- Update my hairdo and add some purple underneath
- Pitch an article for publishing in a reputable media outlet
- Put together a proper launch for the Puberty Party for Moms
- Make pumpkin soup
Now, you might look at my list and think, those are risks? But isn’t that how it works. Some things that are scary for me might feel effortless for you and vice-versa. It’s not the items on the list that are risky, it’s the emotional investment we attach to them that makes it feel risky or not. And confidence can impact our risky decisions.
If you only take away one thing from the book, it should be…
My biggest takeaway from The Confidence Code for Girls is how much confidence is a learned skill. Confidence is something you can learn and improve on. It’s just like any sport or exercise. The more smart risks you take, the more you’ll strengthen your confidence. And like with any learning or exercise, you’ll have days where you’re nailing it and then days when you feel like you’ve lost everything you’ve learned.
The most important thing to do when it comes to confidence is to keep trying. Keep putting yourself out there. Celebrate what goes well and learn from your less-than-stellar moments. Just don’t quit. And remember who’s watching you. Let your puberty girl catch you being awesome.
Want to learn more about the book? Click here to visit the publisher’s website:
Get your copy of The Confidence Code for Girls anywhere books are sold, or you can read it for free using the Hoopla app. All you need is a library card and you should be able to sign up for a free Hoopla account. That’s how I’m reading it now.